Network Working Group                                        D. Pemberton
Request for Comments:  5150                              Ascend Communications
                                                            29 March  1999


   A Standard for the Transmission of high quality Alcoholic Beverages to
   areas with sub-standard Alcohol production

Status of this Memo

   This memo describes an experimental method for the transmission of
   alcoholic beverages to areas with sub-standard beverage production.  This
   specification is primarily useful in cases where a user has relocated to a
   country where the beer tastes like yesterdays dish water.  This is an
   experimental, not recommended standard.  Distribution of this memo is 
   unlimited, and comments are welcome.

Overview and Rational

   It would seem that there are areas of the planet that have extremly
   substandard alcoholic beverage (refered to as Beer) production.  Studies 
   have shown that certain behavourial problems can manifest themselves in 
   indivduals who have transitted from an area of high quality Beer production
   to an area of extreme low quality Beer production.  These individuals are 
   prone to anxity and depression if quanties of high quality Beer can not be 
   supplied on a regular basis.  This document provides the framework for a 
   system to handle the transmission of high quality Beer to individuals in 
   low quality Beer effected areas.

Frame Format

   As the MTU for Beer through most international customs centers is quite low,
   a high degree of fragmentation is used.  Once the Beer has been purchased in
   its native country, normally in packet sizes of 6, 12 or occasionally the 
   Giant packet of 24 (also known as a Slab Packet), it is fragmented up into 
   individual datagrams (or cans).

   The datagrams (or cans) then have an appropriate header attached to them. 
   It is normal to use printed sticky labels for this purpose.

   The header format is as follows.


       +--------------------------------+
       |Name of Recipient (4bytes)      |
       |________________________________|
       |street number(2)| street (2)    |
       |________________|_______________|
       |Suburb   (4)                    |
       |________________________________|
       |City     (4)                    |
       |________________________________|
       |Country Code (2)|PostCode (2)   |
       |________________|_______________|


   Appropriatly encapsulated cans can now be handed to a lower OSI layer for
   delivery.  Generally the POSTBOX or COURIER layer 2 networks are used.  But
   SMUGGLING has been rumoured to have a larger MTU size, but is prone to data
   loss due to strict error checking by the network.

   Upon receipt, the header is removed, the can is unencapsulated and the Beer
   is passed to the higher MOUTH layer.



Pemberton                                                        [Page 1]

RFC  5150             Transmission of high quality Beer         29 March  1999


Security Considerations

   Security is a consideration with transporting Beer to areas that have strict
   Beer transmission policies.  Data encryption techniques should be employed
   in these circumstances.  A certain ammount of success has been reported
   with BeerSec encryption.  BeerSec encryption requires the application of an
   additional header onto the Beer datagram.  Example headers are shown below.

	"This is not a beer!"
	"Pepsi"
	"Roll-on Deoderant"
	"Look over there - Elvis!"

Author's Address

   Dean Pemberton
   Ascend Communications
   Level 38, 55 Collins Street
   Melbourne, VIC 3000
   Australia

   Phone:  +61-3-9656-7000

   EMail:  Dean.Pemberton@ascend.com